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Every story starts with a dream. A dream of someone wanting more. A dream of a life that might feel so unrealistic right now yet you know deep down in your soul you're destined for. My name is Claire Markwick. Accountant, business coach, affiliate marketer, mom, wife and woman with a dream. A fierce dream rising up within me. A dream that fires my soul and a dream I am committed to making a reality. Based woman rising is a podcast that celebrates those with a dream. Those courageous enough to think outside their current reality and make what's in your heart come true. If I've learned one thing over the years, is that the only surefire way of staying stuck in a stale, mediocre life is believing that's all you're capable of. Believing your own bullshit excuses and not finding the strength to stretch beyond them. I held myself back, I played safe, I stayed where I was for far too long, but not anymore. I want a life of passion. Have fun adventure, laughter love. I want deep conversations belly laughs health, strength, balance. I want confidence, sexiness, fulfillment and the money to do as we please without limitation. I want the life of my dreams. So I'm here creating it. And I want that for you too. So welcome my friend, to fierce woman rising, the show that awakens your mind and kickstarts your action to creating the life you love. Hello, hello, my name is Claire Markwick. And welcome to another episode of the fears when rising podcast. I shared a post on my socials last week saying that if you're not happy with something, change it. And I got a few comments on that post saying that, you know, have you ever clear it's not always that easy. It's not you can't just you know, you can't just change everything, there's certain things that are outside of our control. And I just, I felt that there needed to be some elaboration on this topic, I thought that it would make for a really interesting conversation today in the podcast to kind of go into a

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little bit more about what I mean by it, and how we can actually change anything. Like we can change, absolutely anything that we are experiencing, we do have the power, we do have the control, we do have the ability to do that. And I think it's a really important conversation to have. Because if you're someone who's telling yourself that you can't change the circumstances that you're in, then I feel really sorry for you. I do and I want you to realize that there is a way that you can change the circumstances that you're in. And and that is what we're going to talk about today. Because I think it's really, really important because when we feel like we're stuck in a in a situation, in an experience in a set of circumstances that we have no control over and that we can't change that can feel really constricting, really restricting, and it can be really lonely and scary as well. And I don't think that that is a productive energy to sit in. And I for one know that feeling of feeling completely stuck and feeling completely out of control and feeling like the whole world is conspiring against me and feeling like I had nothing that I could contribute or feeling like I had nothing that I could do to get me out of it. Like I know what that feels like I'm not preaching from this higher place of you know, I don't understand your pain. And you know, who does she think she is like, I completely get it. I have been in that place where I have felt so low. Internally, you're on the outside, everything might look dandy, but inside I'm like this so much. I want to change this so much. I want to do this so much. I'm not happy with this so much. I'm frustrated with an unjust, I'm stuck. I'm tired. I'm I'm done. Like I don't know what to do. I don't know how to change this. So I have been there. I understand that feeling. And I want to use this episode as an opportunity to discuss this and to give you if that's you if you're feeling that to give you an hour to give you a

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light at the end of the tunnel and to help you realize that you actually can change apps salutely Everything about your current situation, and really quite simply, that as well. And I think what this really does come down to, is that there are a huge percentage of us a huge percentage of the human population that are in situations that might not be our ideal, yet they're comfortable. So perhaps you might be working in a job that doesn't light you up, you might be in a relationship that feels a bit Loveless, you know, it's lost its passion, it's lost its spark, maybe, maybe you're not in a relationship. And you're, you're just you're fed up of being single. Maybe Maybe you've got family stuff going on. And, and you feel trapped by that situation. There's there are so many things that we can feel trapped by. And I honestly believe that, if we don't have the motivation to get out of that place, it's because we actually haven't reached our line in the sand yet, we haven't reached rock bottom, we haven't reached the point where we absolutely categorically can't go on any further. And I think where a lot of us sit is appreciating that we might not be exactly where we want to be. But actually where we are is comfortable. And although you might beach and whinging moan and and have moments of inspiration or motivation to change our circumstances, actually, the thought of doing something different is scarier than the thought of continuing to stay where we are. So we stay where we are. Because that's, that's more comfortable. And I think that in order for us to change something, we have to reach the absolute pinnacle of our low spot. And if you listened to, if you listened to the episode, I think it was episode 16 on how to stop making shitty New Year's resolutions that you never actually stick to. I walked through a process I walked through an exercise that I go through quite regularly, where we sort of assess all the different areas of our life. So it's an

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exercise where we, where you go through and okay you think about right your career or your professional fulfillment in your business. How do you feel about that? How do you write that out of 10, your financial situation, your living environment, your intimate relationships, your, your health, there's like eight different categories that you go through, and you actually write them out of 10. And the next part of that exercise, I'm not going to go into it in a whole heap of detail, because you can just go back and listen to listen to that episode, episode number 16. I'll link it in the show notes to this episode as well. The next part of that exercise is projecting yourself out so projecting out like 12 months, three years, five years, and if nothing changed, from where you are in each of those segments, How would things be feeling say in five years time, if nothing about your use of career fulfillment, for example, changed if nothing about your relationship situation changed? If nothing about your your health and wellness changed? If you take from where you are now a project that out five years, if nothing changed? How would that make you feel? What would be happening then? What kind of conversations would you be having? What kind of people would you be hanging out with? What kind of stuff will be going through your head? How old would your kids be? How old will you be? And what would you have missed out on? The reason that we find change so challenging? And so hard, I believe is because we don't tie the emotional weight to not changing. We're focusing on the unknown, the uncertainty, the the scary shit about changing and what could go wrong and what what it might mean to change in and how would we feel if we change this and we fail and, and all that we focus on that stuff. And we don't tie enough emotional weight to staying the same. And when we have a an incredible emotional

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picture of what staying in this stuck, comfortable, mediocre situation will look like going forwards. That's where we kind of get our intrinsic drive our intrinsic motivation to actually propel us forward and give us the courage to actually do change. And so what I like to say to people is that change is not the hard thing, change is actually really freakin easy. The high thing and the thing that you're struggling with is deciding whether you're ready to change. And there's a really, really massive difference there. So it's the decision about being ready to change that you're struggling with, not the actual change itself. And when you have reached that point of, I absolutely cannot continue in this job in this relationship in this financial situation in this family situation in whatever it is that you're sitting in. When you reach that line in the sand moment, you can't not change because the the drive and the energy and then push and that intrinsic motivation is so great, you will be able to find a way out of no way you will be able to see options, see paths, see things that you can do that you can't possibly see right now. But you don't have, you don't have a torch that's bright enough to shine the light right now, if you're not ready to make that change. So I wanted to I wanted to make that distinction really, really clear. It's not that changing is difficult, it's deciding you're ready to change. That is the hard part. And if you're not ready to change yet, then just go easy on yourself, you know, except that where you're at right now might not be where you want to be, but stop looking for the courage to change, stop looking for the motivation stopped looking for a science, stop looking for the help, because you have got absolutely everything that you need inside of you. And when you have reached the point of no return, when you have reached that line in the sand, I absolutely guarantee you will, you will have that courage you will have what

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you need to make the decision and take the first step. So if you haven't got there yet, go easy on yourself. Stop trying to force it like this is something that I have really been leaning into over this over this last 12 months. And something I'm continuing to, to really explore and dig deep on in myself is the art of surrender. And the the notion of stopping trying to control absolutely everything because we can't, we just can't control everything. And all that we can control is our attitude. And is how we think about things and is the meaning that we put to things. So stop trying to control other people stop trying to control your boss, your partner, your mom, your dad, your sister, your auntie, your uncle, your brother, whoever it is, whatever it is that's going on in your life that is making you unhappy with where you're at right now stop trying to control someone else, or something else external to you and trying to make them change to enable you to feel better about making a decision. It's not them that has to change. It's what you're choosing to look at. That has to change. And there's something else that I think is really, really interesting in this space. And in this conversation I was reminded about, I was reminded about last week, I was part of a two day business retreat last week, and so much of that. So it was all about setting ourselves up for for 2024 for creating goals, creating, creating an action plan to move us forward in in our in our careers. This was through this as well, I was wearing my accounting hat. But so much of the focus was on our mindset and how we choose to look at things and I just I find it fascinating how we can what are the words how we can disassociate the importance of our attitude and mindset and how we choose to look at something and we can be forever trying to find the next course or the next book, or the next coach or the next strategy blueprint framework. The next thing that we can buy that is going to

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help us get from where we are right now to where we think we want to be. And don't get me wrong we need we need processes we need. We need strategies, we need frameworks we need structure But that alone is not enough. If you if you are going if you are someone and this was me, if you are someone who is going from coach to coach program to program book to book podcast, a podcast trying to find, trying to find the magic bullet for what is going to move you from where you are to where you want to be, you're focusing on the wrong thing, the external strategy is not what's failing, what's failing is how you're choosing to look at it, what's failing is how you're choosing to think what you're choosing to believe and the meaning that you're putting into your situation. Now, our brain absorbs takes in, like 60, to 70,000 pieces of information every single day. Like it's just it's constantly constantly absorbing information. And we cannot consciously process every single piece of information that comes into our brain into our awareness. at every given moment of the day, like at we would literally explode like conscious, but we cannot consciously think of absolutely everything, you know, we don't consciously think breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, left foot forward, right foot forward, left foot forward, right for for, we don't consciously think that, because we don't have the capacity to, we just we do that we just breathe, we just walk we just do so much subconsciously, unconsciously, without you know, without consciously thinking of it without conscious awareness of it. And our thoughts. Go get processed in exactly the same way we don't consciously think about everything so much. A huge percentage of what comes into our brains each day, is filtered, unconsciously. And so what we see as our reality, what we experience, as our reality is a result of all that information coming through our filters. Therefore, our filters in our unconscious mind are

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what is creating our reality, and what is creating what is real to us. And so if we want to change our external circumstances, if we want to change our results, if we want to change our reality, then the simplest way that we can do that is by changing our filters. By changing what we choose to believe by changing how we choose to think by changing how we choose to speak about ourselves. Like our self talk is so powerful if you're constantly like berating yourself and cursing yourself. Idiot, I idiot or you idiot, I stupid you forgot that you idiot, you idiot, you idiot. Like you would not say that to your child? You absolutely would not say that to a small child you would not constantly, day in day out multiple times a day, say to your little human being you would not look them in the eye and go You're such an idiot. How could you do that? That was so stupid. What an idiot? Do you think you are? You are such an idiot? Can you imagine? Those of you with small kids? Or maybe you've got grandkids or maybe your kids are older and just imagine back to when they had that beautiful, sweet, innocent little three or four year old face and those beautiful eyes looking up at you? Can you imagine what you would be doing to their self esteem by multiple times a day? You looking down at them going you is? Yeah, you're so stupid. As if you thought you could do that? How stupid a you what an idiot. Imagine what that would do to their self esteem. Imagine what that would do to how they felt imagine what that would do to their faith, their belief, their trust in themselves. And yet, we will do this to ourselves all the time. And

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those kinds that kind of self talk is creating a filter. It's creating a filter of well, I can't do that. I'm stupid. Who would I who am I to do that. And so all this information that's coming in all these perhaps, you know, opportunities, all these, like amazing things that could be the catalyst for change in our life. We were putting them through one of the filters of well, you're just stupid. There's no way you could do that. Who do you think you are for thinking that you could do that? It's all going through that filter. And so our unconscious brain, like it doesn't know the difference between fact and fiction. It doesn't know the difference between real and imagined. So our unconscious brain is going okay, well, yeah, okay. I can't do that then. And it sort of it almost closes us off to seeing those opportunities. So I trust this is kind of making sense in his in as much as if we want to change our reality, if we want to change what we are experiencing. Whilst we might not be able to control a narcissistic partner, or a, or a boss that is micromanaging, or a parent or sibling that is over demanding, like, whilst we might not have the power to change them, we have the power, we have the control, to change our attitude to it, and how we choose to think about it and our meaning that we place on it. Do you see the distinction. So it's not about being able to change everything. And it's not about being able to change our entire situation immediately. Like, let's be very real, like you might be in a job, for example, that you absolutely detest. It fills you with dread to go in there every Monday, you hate your boss, you're completely unfulfilled. Yet at the same time, you get your paycheck each week, and it pays your rent and it buys your groceries and it pays your bills and it keeps your kids keeps your kids fed and happy. So you can't, you might not feel that you are instantly able to just walk away from that job because it might take you a few

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months to find another job or something like that, you know, so you could be one of those people that like, you know, if you're not happy, just change it. Yeah, Claire, it's not all it's not that easy. But whilst you can't change your job, immediately, you can change your attitude to it. So you can instead of saying I'm so unfulfilled This boss is an asshole is everyone I work with is just gossiping. And this is shared. And I'm worth more than this. What you can choose to do instead is Be grateful for the fact that you're earning a wage that enables you to give your children a roof over their head and food on their plate, which is way more than what a hell of a lot of other people have got. And you can also choose to use it as your catalyst to move you forward to go, you know what I could probably do without that coffee a day on my way to work, I'm going to put that money aside and I'm going to save to start a business or to go on a trip or to train in something else. And so our attitude to our problem or to the thing we think we want to change can be changed instantly. And that then can immediately change our perspective, our reality. Because remember, our unconscious mind does not know the difference between real and imagined. And so we have actually got tremendous power to completely and utterly change our reality. So we might be sat thinking, you know, I'm in a rental house, I'm in a job that doesn't earn me the money, I want to live the lifestyle I want, I live in a town that I don't want to be in for the rest of my life. I'm in a relationship that doesn't satisfy me anymore. My kids don't respect me, woe is me, yada, yada, yada. We can focus on all that negative. And we that means we were creating filters on that negative, which means that all the information that's coming into our unconscious brain is being filtered through those negative filters, which means we see more evidence of negative and we will see more evidence of why our life is

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shit and why other people are doing so much better than me and I am so miserable. Like we will always validate what we choose to believe is true, we will always find evidence of the mindset that we're sitting in. So if we're focusing on shit, we've got shit filters in our unconscious mind. And everything that comes into our brain is being filtered through shit quite frankly. And all we're going to see is more shit. So our job is not to change those around us it is to change our filters and how we choose to look at something. So if we choose filters of gratitude, if we choose filters of abundance, if we choose filters, of, of vision of possibility of potential, then every piece of information that comes into our brain is going to be filtered through those filters. And imagine how different our life is going to be when we are when we have when we're focusing on opportunity. And when we're focusing on possibility, and excitement and adventure and fun, and love and laughter and passion when everything is coming through those filters, and we are grateful. And there's enough, there's enough time, there's enough money, there's enough of us to go around. If everything is just as it's meant to be, if if everything is is just perfectly aligning, and is exactly as it's meant to be, and it's teaching us what we need to know. And we can just surrender to that. And we can filter through those kinds of filters, then our reality is going to be vastly different. And if you think I'm talking a whole heap of bullshit, right now, put yourself back to when you got a new car when you fell pregnant for the first time, when you're pregnant for the first time, how many other pregnant people do you notice? When you bought a new car? How many other models of that car do you notice in your town? When you have a favorite song? How many times do you notice that song being played in the radio, in in shops, on ads on TV shows, you notice what you focus on you you filter what you're

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focusing on. So if you're focusing on shit, you are always going to notice more shit. If you're focusing on opportunity, on positivity, on gratitude, on abundance on there being enough, then that is what you're going to get more evidence of that is what you're going to start to see that is what you're going to then experience that is what your reality is going to be. So that is how you instantly can change. You don't change it's not about changing the people around you and the circumstances around you and the physical things around you. It's about changing how you're choosing to look at those things. And that is what is going to completely flip turn, how your reality looks and what you see when your brain is processing all of that information and

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don't get me Don't get me wrong like this mindset piece is so pivotal, it is it is absolutely like I said you cannot read enough books you cannot do enough courses you cannot work with enough coaches you cannot get enough education on the strategy if you're not prepared to do the mindset piece if you're not prepared to look at things differently if you're not prepared to challenge how you perceive things challenge the meaning that you put to things question get curious what is it that you get triggered by what is it that you what is it that you don't believe you're capable of Where did you learn that you weren't able to do that? Where did you learn that it's not safe to do that thing to to be that person to talk like that to address like that to act like that to speak like that? Where did you learn that? If you're not prepared to ask yourself these kinds of questions and do this kind of inner work then you have got to be prepared to say exactly where the bloody hell you are because no amount of strategy books courses, learning coaches programs, whatever is going to help you is this mindset piece this inner work piece this changing how you choose to look at things this changing the meaning that you put to things this is where the magic happens and this is where being around a community of people who get it who are in that mindset who are like no perfect like I am I am not saying that my life is absolutely perfect and exactly as I want it to be right now and I am in a positive high vibe. Always looking above you know always putting great meaning to things always having amazing filters all the time. That's not the case because I'm a freakin human being and I have bad days and I have ship filters that pop up. And I need reminding of that. So I get myself in rooms I get myself in communities of people who can be around me to support me to hold me in that space, and to help me see, hey, Claire, you're probably letting me shoot filters going a bit too much kind of

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power here, let's let's, let's cast them aside. And let's choose to think about things a little bit differently here. The the successful people in life are in communities who do the inner work, who believe in the power of the inner work, and changing how we choose to look at things and changing how we choose to respond to things and changing the meaning that we put to things. So this is my challenge to you, if you are someone who thinks that change is hard, and who maybe you saw my post and saying, if you're not happy, just change it. And that triggered the shit out of you. And you just wanted to argue with me and review what I was saying. My challenge to you is to find a community of people that is going to help you realize that actually, you can change absolutely anything, by changing your filters by changing the way you choose to look at things. And if you are someone listening to this podcast, who likes my vibe and how I talk about things and how I challenge and how I question and how I get curious and how I'm pushing myself, which in turn could inspire you to to push yourself and challenge yourself and stretch yourself beyond where you think you're currently capable, then coming out in our community. They're fierce women rising collective, I launched it just this week. Exactly. For this reason, because this podcast has evolved from where it began. This this podcast in less than 20 episodes has gone from me sharing stories of people who have changed their life through affiliate marketing, to me empowering women to step into their fierce, powerful, confident, courageous selves, so that you can achieve whatever the hell it is that you want to achieve. Now maybe that is financial freedom and, and health and well being and maybe you might choose to come and join me in my affiliate marketing business and and that be the catalyst for you. But that is not what the first woman rising Collective is about. The first woman rising Collective is about a

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group of people, a sisterhood of women who have got each other's backs, and who are constantly there to support and hold and nurture, and really encourage you to grow into the woman that you know, deep down inside that you are, but you've just got all these layers of crud and crap and shit piled up on top, because that's how you've had to survive up to now. That's how you've been able to get through life up to now. But now is a time where you get to choose to shed those layers. And you get to choose to upgrade your filters. And you get to choose to think about things differently and see things differently and realize that life your reality does not have to be how you're currently seeing it, it can be something very different now straightaway immediately. And to do that work on your own can be challenging. And so that is why I inviting you if you feel called to come and join us in a first woman rising collective, it's not something you pay for. It's not it's not some it's not some program you need time to do. It is literally a Facebook group of women, full of women who are on this journey, who are on this path who feel inside they have this fire, they have this mission, they have this, this this important work that they need to do. But they need to be around higher vibe people they need to be around people that get them they need to be around people who can help them achieve it, help them grow into who you need to be to achieve it. Because let's be very, very real. It is not always going to be our partner or our parents or our sisters or our best mates or whoever it is. It's not always going to be those people that give us the support and we might desperately want it to be but it doesn't have to be. It does not have to be and them not giving you the support that you think they need to give you should not be your reason for why you're not choosing to change. You don't need your partner's support to start a business. You don't need your dad's support to

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change careers. You don't need As your best mates support to leave an abusive partner, what you need is the courage within yourself. And you need a sisterhood of people who can help you grow into that person. And that's what the first woman rising Collective is all about. So the link to that collective is going to be in this the show notes of this episode, along with the episode I was talking about before, with a with the wheel of life, the life audit that you can do to help you prioritize where you need to put your focus. So when we sit in this space of I'm not happy, something needs to change, the thing that we're trying to change might actually not be the thing that needs to change, in order for us to feel a change. And I'm going to trust that that just makes sense. Let me say it again, when we're sat in a situation that we are not happy in, where we're putting our focus, that thing we think needs to change in order to make our life be different, might not actually be and it might be something completely, completely afield completely over here to where we think and this exercise can help us identify that so the link to the collective is in the show notes of this episode. The link to that that exercise is in the show notes of this episode. And I want to encourage you to share this episode with someone one person in your network that you think needs to hear it one person who is ready to make a change, but is finding it difficult to have to find the motivation to find the courage to have the support and is perhaps blaming the fact that they don't have the support to stop them making the change I want you to find one person in your network to share this episode with and help them take the step forward that they need to live the life that they want to be living because guys this is this is one shot we have one shot at this life,

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we don't have a second chance we this is not a dress rehearsal and I got to my 40s and I realized you know what, like I've been I have a great life. But it could be even greater there is so much more I am here to do and it is so easy the years go past so freakin fast. And I am not prepared to get to 50 and and then still be looking back or you know looking head because I'm not quite where I want to be. And so I want to be around people that are going to be lifting me up and supporting me and challenging me and stretching me and helping me grow now. So I am growing into the person that I want to be and I want that for you too. So I'm going to leave it there. I think I have rambled on quite enough for this episode, and I trust that you have got the gold from it that you need to. I am so grateful to everybody who is here. I am so grateful to everybody who has already joined the fierce womanizing collective and I'm looking forward to welcoming you on the inside as well. So thank you so much for being here. And until next week, bye bye