How to stop making shitty New Year resolutions you never stick to

Claire Markwick: 00:00:09

Every story starts with a dream. A dream of someone wanting more. A dream of a life that might feel so unrealistic right now yet you know deep down in your soul you're destined for. My name is Claire Markwick. Accountant, business coach, affiliate marketer, mom, wife and woman with a dream. A fierce dream rising up within me. A dream that fires my soul and a dream I am committed to making a reality. Based woman rising is a podcast that celebrates those with a dream. Those courageous enough to think outside their current reality and make what's in your heart come true. If I've learned one thing over the years, is that the only surefire way of staying stuck in a stale, mediocre life is believing that's all you're capable of. Believing your own bullshit excuses and not finding the strength to stretch beyond them. I held myself back, I played safe I stayed where I was for far too long, but not anymore. I want a life of passion. Have fun adventure, laughter love. I want deep conversations belly laughs health, strength, balance. I want confidence, sexiness, fulfillment and the money to do as we please without limitation. I want the life of my dreams. So I'm here creating it. And I want that for you too. So welcome my friend, to fierce woman rising, the show that awakens your mind and kickstarts your action to creating the life you love. Hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of the fierce woman rising podcast. I'm your host, Claire Markwick. And you've got me for another solo episode this week. I have been thinking really hard about what to talk about this week, I have got literally so many ideas, I've got so many things buzzing around my head, so many conversations that I want to have with people so many topics that I want to discuss in our in our forum like this. And I think what's what's standing out to me today is the fact that we're now the 11th of January, as I'm recording this right now 2024. So we're coming up to be in a couple of

Claire Markwick: 00:02:25

weeks in to the new year. And I want to I want to talk about creating a vision and creating a big enough picture in our minds. So that we can actually achieve what we say we want to achieve rather than you know doing the token New Year's resolution on the first of January. And it kind of starting to peter out already. And certainly by the time we get to February and kids going back to school and life getting back to normal. Everything just kind of flutters back to how it was. And before we know it another 12 months has passed. And we kind of kick ourselves because we haven't done what we said we were going to do. And I think the reason that we do that is because it's so easy to make a shallow New Year's resolution or I'm going to I'm going to join a gym, I'm going to get fit, I'm going to I'm going to start a side hustle, I'm going to learn a new hobby, I'm going to go to networking events or whatever it might be. It's so easy to say that, that to actually have the intrinsic like internal motivation to follow through with something we say we want to do, we've really got to feel it emotionally. Because if we're just kind of talking surface level, I'm going to get fit. Yeah, as soon as we hit our first obstacle, or maybe if we're strong and willpower, maybe it's the second or third obstacle, we're going to start to stumble. And that's when we're going to start to look for external motivation and things that are going to help us and then we're going to blame our circumstances or blame people around us for you know, not supporting us to achieve our goals and all this near bullshit. When actually the real reason that we're not achieving what we say we want to achieve is because we're not emotionally invested to it. And if there's one thing that I have learned, it's that when I am emotionally invested in something like when I feel it in my heart when I feel it deep in my soul when I when I'm really clear on what I want the outcome to be then achieving it.

Claire Markwick: 00:04:43

Like it becomes kind of a no brainer. Like I have to like there's no question there's no dispute there's no needing to motivate myself to get up and exercise or whatever it might be. You know, I don't need external motivation because I've got that intrinsic drive like I've attached so much emotion into it, I've attached so much vision to it that I can't possibly not achieve it. And so now I apply this framework that I'm going to share on this episode, this is going to be a bit more of a practical episode, I apply this framework to everything. And this is something that I do on a regular basis, like at least every, at least every six months, to really make sure that I'm on track and that I am focusing on the right things and that I can see and feel enough of a future vision to keep me motivated to keep me striving forward to keep me going when shit hits the fan. And when challenges come up. And when life happens when the universe three shit in our faces, like, like, all that stuff is going to happen like it, she will always happen, we're never going to have it completely smooth sailing. So our job is not to bitch and moan and complain when things go wrong. And people don't support us and things don't work out the way we thought they were gonna and be like, Oh, well, you know, that must be a sign that I'm not meant to do X Y Zed. Nope, that's complete another bullshit. That's just your ego, finding an excuse, finding a reason to pull you down and keep you keep you in that safe space. So it is our job to grow beyond that to take radical responsibility of our own life of our own success of our own results, and to make sure that we are guided and motivated enough to allow us to work through those shows when they happen, because they absolutely always will. So as I said, this is a this is going to be a bit more of a practical episode, if you're listening to this episode while you're doing something else, maybe you're driving, maybe you're cleaning, maybe you're

Claire Markwick: 00:06:59

breastfeeding a baby, I don't know. Maybe you're at work, listen to it, absorb it. Amazing. But then come back to it when you have got time to sit with a journal and a pen and a cuppa or whatever it might be. And really sit and do these exercises, take the time to do these exercises. And notice the difference in your drive to achieving what you say you want to achieve when you have given yourself the time when you when you have slowed down and given yourself the permission to actually feel into what it is that you want to achieve. You know, you can't help. Like I said before, you can't help but succeed, you can't help but do everything in your power to achieve it because you have tied so much emotional investment to it. So let's stop the waffle. Let's let's get into it straightaway. Now some of you might have done this before guided with me, some of you might have done this from other arenas. And that's totally fine. You know, unless you did it like last week, you'll probably still you will still get value from it. As I said, this is something that I do every few months, it's a really good check in just to see how we're progressing. And just to kind of make sure that we're on track and focusing on the right thing. So even if you have done this before, don't turn it off and think I've done this, because it's not a it's not a do once set and forget, you know, this is this is something that we do, periodically, consistently over time to track where we're heading. So grab a piece of paper, grab a iPad, remarkable, whatever, whatever your writing material of choice is, grab a piece of paper and draw a big circle on it as big as the space allows you. And then I want you to split it into eight. So you'd want to do a line vertically down the middle, align horizontal across the middle, and then diagonals crossing through the center. So you've got, you've got your eight segments. And I want you to label each segment. So don't matter which segment is which don't get hung

Claire Markwick: 00:09:18

up on right and wrong. Just label each segment however you like write it on the outside of the circle, write it on the inside of the circle right down the line, it doesn't matter. Just label each segment these things. So the first one is going to be business career professional. So it's, it's your work, your work segment, whatever work looks like for you. The next one is going to be money and finances. The next one is going to be intimate relationships and romance. The next one is going to be fun and adventure The next one is going to be environment and lifestyle.

Claire Markwick: 00:10:08

You are then going to have personal growth and learning, health and fitness, how many way out 1234567 And then a family to parenting family. So they're your eight segments. Then what I want you to do is to imagine that the middle of the circle, so, you know, right in the middle where all of those lines cross, that in the middle there represents zero out of 10. And the outer rim of the circle represents 10 out of 10. So then you've got, you know, from that middle point to the Outer Rim, you've got 123456789. So you've got from the middle to the rim, zero to 10. And that is your score on how you currently write your satisfaction in each of those areas. So take each segment at a time. And think about your professional segment, your your career, your business, how you feel about yourself professionally. How would you rate yourself right now in this current moment, out of 10? Are you a five out of 10? Are you a three out of 10? Are you a nine or a 10? out of 10? Think about? Think about how satisfied you feel with where you're at in your career with where you're at in your business with how that feels to you? How would you rate yourself out of 10 for your business and your career and your professional persona, if you like and market in that segment, however the hell you like doesn't matter. Personally, I like to you know, if I was writing myself, say five out of 10, I draw a line across sort of half of this segment and color it in, you might just want to put across on the line or do it however you want doesn't matter, you might just want to write five out of 10. In that segment, it does not matter there is no right and wrong. The exercise is just you reflecting and evaluating on where you're at, don't get hung up on how do I mark it on the circle correctly. Because if that's where you're at, you're completely missing the freaking point. So don't worry about that. Just write that segment out of 10. And then when you've done that, go around them

Claire Markwick: 00:12:26

all how do you feel about your your wealth, your money, your financial situation? How do you feel about your intimate relationship and your or your romance? How do you feel about your fun adventure friends, your social life? Like how do you feel at a 10? How satisfied do you feel with each and every single one of these sectors. So spend some time doing that if you're able to do it right now, pause this and do it as we go through. If you're if you're listening to this while doing other things, please continue doing those other things. Do not try and draw a circle while you're driving a car, for example, and come back to it and do and do this exercise. So go round each of the segments. Now, I want you to once you've done that, take a moment and look at it. Look at each of those segments and what you've scored them. And just in your journal on on a new sheet of paper, whatever, just jot down anything that comes up anything that immediately comes up, it might be like that surprising or shit? Or well, okay, well that's a bit of a worry. But you know, whatever it is like that. There is no right and wrong. I cannot stress this enough. So many people when I do exercises like this in workshops, ask so many superficial questions surface have a questions on? Or is it alright if I if I put this or is this the kind of thing I have to put or where do I write it? Like it doesn't matter? It doesn't matter write it in steam on your bathroom mirror. Like it doesn't matter. What I'm trying to get you to do is reflect on the scores that you've just given yourself. What is it about your intimate relationships that you only scored at four out of 10? What is it about your your fun and adventure that you rated at six out of 10? What is it about your environment, your current environment, your home your lifestyle? The town you live in? What is it about that that you've rated five out of 10? Like what what surprises you What shocks you what stands out what what is

Claire Markwick: 00:14:47

glaringly obvious when you look at it on the page? What have you been maybe focusing so hard on that it has come at the cost of focus of other sectors is just start to notice things start to write things down, start to spitball start to brainstorm. And I'm really going to encourage you to turn your head and your logic off. Because your logical brain is when you're doing exercises like this, your logical brain is going to try and rationalize and justify and, you know, create excuses or create stories or whatever it might be, it's going to try and it's going to try a limit. And it's going to try and restrict what you want to say. So I'm going to really encourage you to switch that head off, no one is going to see this, you're not getting scored on it, you're not getting judged on it, this is just for your personal reflection, right, whatever the hell you like, if you've rated your relationship, one out of 10. Awesome. Like, this is your opportunity to be really, really honest with yourself and give yourself permission to think about it, not to hide anymore not to cover it up not to justify not to bullshit yourself like, this is your opportunity to get really, really honest and really, really real. So write down everything that comes up. And when you think you're finished, keep going, keep going and let more come out. And if that's pages and pages and pages, 100 pages long, awesome. You know, if it is only half a page, if it is only a couple of lines for each one, go you you know, at least you're doing it. But I would encourage you to really sit with each segment for as long as you need to, and write down how it makes you feel. Write down what comes up for you, when you look at that score. What does it mean to you? What is it? What does it make you think about what surprises you and then go through each segment and sit with sit with this? What happens? If nothing changes? What happens? Where will I be in the next 12 months? Where will I be if we are now at the

Claire Markwick: 00:17:06

11th of January 2025. And nothing in this segment has changed. If you've rated your financial situation, for example, let's say you've rated your financial situation five out of 10. You know, you're you're not you're not strapped for cash, you've got your basic survival covered, but that's it, you know, it's just basic survival is covered and there's not a lot left over, there's not a lot left over for saving, there's not a lot left over for fun. There's not a lot left over for luxury, there's not a lot left over for emergency, you know, you're just going okay, right now, what happens if nothing about your financial situation changes in 12 months time? What happens to that score? Does it stay at five? Does it drop to four or three? Like think about what happens go through each segment one at a time? What happens if nothing changes in that segment in 12 months? And then when you've done that, think about what happens in each of those segments if nothing changes for five years. And that might seem really far fetched. But I want you to think back five years, like how quickly has that time flown? How many new year's resolutions Have you made and not stuck to how many goals have you made and not reached? How many things have you said you were going to do? Yet you haven't? Well, you haven't quite got there or you you know, you've things have happened and you've diverted just think really take the time really give yourself permission to consider what will happen in each of these segments if nothing changes from your current reality two to five years time. And write that down to write everything about it down. Right how you feel right what it looks like, right? What you're thinking about, right? Like logistically like what what will that mean? Will you still be able to afford where you're living? How old will your kids be? What will your relationship with them be like? What will your relationship with your partner be like? What will your relationship with

Claire Markwick: 00:19:15

yourself be like? Really get real with this really get deep with this because the deeper you get, and the more emotion you feel, the more you are going to be able to attach intrinsic internal, like motivation and drive to making change. Because when you just keep things surface level when you keep the wall up when you keep just you know putting the rug over it shutting the door not thinking about it keeping yourself busy. Nothing is going to change because you're not allowing yourself to feel that pain you're not allowing yourself to really appreciate where you could be if you don't change anything.

Claire Markwick: 00:20:07

So this is my invitation to you to get really, really freaking real with yourself, if you are committed to actually making a change, you've got to go beyond the surface, I'm going to get fit, I'm going to, I'm going to earn more money, I'm going to make some new friends, you've got to get past that surface bullshit. And you've got to really get into the emotion of why that matters to you. How is that going to make you feel? How is that not changing, going to impact all of those segments, and you know, like, the really, the really full on thing for me when I when I do this. And when I when I had this realization for the first time, it really gave me a kick up the ass. It was, you know, I, I have always said that everything I do I do for my boys, I want to be the inspiration for my boys, I want them to be able to see that. They don't have to do things that traditional way. I'm not hung up on grades, I don't care if they go to uni or not, I don't care what they do for their career, like our, our thing as their parents is that they're happy, and that they're living their best life. And so everything that I do personally is their mom, I want to I want to inspire them, and I want to show them me doing what I tell them that they're able to do. And one time when I did this exercise, I realized that if I didn't step up, if I didn't stop talking the talk without actually doing the do. And if I continued on that path five years, then that my little boys that I was there to inspire and motivate wouldn't be little boys anymore. They'd be young men that had spent their whole entire life watching their mum saying one thing and doing another. And that, to me was such a kick in the heart that I couldn't not keep striving forward. I couldn't I could not. You know, like you, you kind of you have your kids have little kids in your head, you know, like that they're little, maybe you still have little kids. And if you're listening to this, and your kids are still young, then frickin

Claire Markwick: 00:22:30

Hey, a bloody attention. Because this is so important because they grow up so fast. And before you know it, you've got teenagers on your hands, and then they're moving out. And I know that saw years off for us yet, but at the same time when they were like four and three, you know, that doesn't feel like that long ago. So while I'm asking you to project five years out in the future, and you might be like, Oh, that's 15 years away, like so much can change in that time. Yeah, can so much can change in that time, but at the same time, so much time can pass so quickly. And you could have done jack shit in that time, if you don't get really honest with yourself. So that is what I that is why I find this is so so important. Because when we can tie a motion to where we're at, and where we will potentially be if we do nothing about it, then it kind of gives us that drive, then it gives us that reason beyond the surface level as like holy shit. Okay, all right, I really have to make this happen.

Claire Markwick: 00:23:40

So now you've done that. And first of all, give yourselves a huge pat on the back. Because taking the time, if you've actually taken the time to do that exercise thoroughly, it's probably taking you a good, a good hour, at least. If you're like me, it's probably taken more like a couple because once once the heart starts to flow and the pen scribbling away like it really scribbles and I get a lot out when I do exercises like this. So if you have actually taken the time to get really deep to get really honest and really feel into each of those segments and what your scores mean and what they will mean projected forward. If nothing changes, then kudos to you because you're the kind of person that this exercise is really going to help and it's really going to drive you forward. The next step is I want you to draw another circle and split it into the same eight segments and label them however you want, however you want to label them. Maybe you'll label them exactly the same as you did last time. Maybe you'll realize there's a better way to label them doesn't matter. Label the segment's exactly the same as you labeled them before And this time, what I want you to do is I want you to project yourself to the place where every single one of those segments is 10 out of 10. Now, every single one of you is going to have a different perception of what 10 out of 10 in your financial situation looks like, of what 10 out of 10 in your intimate relationship and romance section looks like like it's going to be completely and utterly different. There is no right or wrong. There is there is no judgment, no one is going to see this, you are not going to be compared to anybody else. So if you're 10 out of 10, means you've got $1,000 in the bank, awesome. If you're 10 out of 10 means you're a millionaire, awesome, it doesn't matter, there is no judgment, what I want you to do is to take the time to feel into 10 out of 10 in each of those segments, and what that feels like

Claire Markwick: 00:26:04

for you right now. What kind of things when you when you can rate your financial situation, for example, as 10 out of 10? What are you doing? What kind of things do you do? What is your life look like? When you're writing your financial situation at 10? out of 10? What are you doing? Who do you hang around with? What do you do for fun? How does it feel? What do you think about what do you talk about? What do you dream about? What are you planning? On? What's the next? What's the next thing you're planning? Are you planning a holiday? Are you planning a big trip? Are you planning a property purchase? Are you planning a big spending spree? Are you planning a party? Are you planning an investment? Are you planning on contribution and giving spend time in each and every single segment and again, you can come back to this you don't have to do this in one sitting, just all that I ask is that when you do commit the time to do this, even if it's like in like 20 minute blocks, you actually commit the time. So you're not sat there kind of doing it while you're watching TV or, you know, while the kids are playing or in the background. And hey, my mom, really give yourself the time. That means you have to go sit in the car or you have to go and drive down the street or you have to go to a cafe or you have to ask your hobby your your mother in law or someone to watch the kids for like half an hour, then do that. Give yourself the time to be completely in your own head in your own thoughts in your own heart. And go through each segment one at a time, and really feel into what 10 out of 10 feels like. What is What does 10 out of 10 in your intimate relationships look like? What kind of what kind of relationship is that? Like? How exciting is that? How do you feel when you catch your partner's eye across the room? When it's 10 out of 10? How do you feel when they're not with you? How do you feel when they come home? What does that look like? What do you do together? What do

Claire Markwick: 00:28:23

you talk about? What do you dream about? What do you think about how do you feel? How does that feel in your body? Have you got the little butterflies in the bottom of your stomach? Like when you first met? Do you have the tingles? Do you blush? Does your head spin Do you feel giddy when you think about them? Get out of your head get out of where you're currently at and give yourself the permission to really feel into what 10 out of 10 feels like in your intimate relationships. What does 10 out of 10 feel like in your environment your physical environment? Where are you living? What What are your surroundings look like? What is it what do you look at when you look out of the window? What do you see? What is around you what what couch watch chair are you sitting on right now? When you're doing when you're doing this exercise in X years time? What did like what what is around you? Where do you live? How does that make you feel? Tap out of your head because let me tell you your head is going to be trying to restrict everything you write down. Your head is going to be here but you could never afford to live there. Come on Don't be silly. What do you want to live there for that's so far away from all your family. How would you cope living there? Don't be so silly. You're gonna you're gonna still be living where you're at right now you know that? Cut that that bullshit out, cut that story out, say, You know what head thanks very much. I'm playing a game right now I'm having a bit of fun, I'm doing something right now where I don't need your help and switch it off, switch it off and, and let the pin flow from your heart. From what you're really truly feeling. It doesn't mean, if if your dream environment is like halfway across the globe from where you're currently living right now, it doesn't mean you have to move there tomorrow, doesn't mean you ever have to move there. But what you're doing is you're opening yourself up to feeling that way about

Claire Markwick: 00:30:41

your environment and where you live, you're recognizing in your body, how that makes you feel, you're feeling the emotion, you're feeling the excitement, it doesn't mean you have to do anything, all I'm trying to get you to do is to switch that logic off, and allow you to feel what 10 out of 10 Feels like what 10 out of 10 is like in each of those segments. Really sit in that in that emotion in that feeling. Feel it in your body, notice it in your body, right that down to you 10 out of 10 in my intimate relationships, like I've got this like burning, like sensation, like in the pit of my stomach, and I can't, I can't explain it I've got you know, I'm I'm speaking so, like, so much. And I'm just so excited. And you write all of that down, everything that comes up, write it down and sit and reflect on it, and read it back and feel into it. And notice it in your body, feel it in your body, breathe it in, soak it in. And something that one of my beautiful mentors, Cassidy shared today in her amplify your vision workshop masterclass that she did. She said, if you can feel it in your heart, now, if you can hold it in your heart, you can hold it in your hand. Meaning that when we can truly feel something, then it's already happened, then it's real, it is possible in this universe. Because if we everything about us, everything about everything that we do is energy. So if we can, if we can feel it, we can have it. And I think that I think I went down this track in the last episode as well. You know, if we can feel it, if we can describe what that feels like, if we can put words to it, if we can articulate it, we can have it. So this is another example of that. This is what we are doing. If we can feel it, if we can hold it in our heart, we can hold it in our hands, we can make it real, we can make it tangible, we can hold it we can feel that feeling in real life. If we allow ourselves to get past the surface bushing actually feel it. That is what this exercise is for.

Claire Markwick: 00:33:12

Once you've done that, why keep going? How good is this? Right? How good is it like I am literally I'm not even doing it in this moment. I'm just speaking it but I can I can already feel in my body, like my body is just lit up like I can. I've got this this like, deep in my deep in my belly, I've got this burning, I've got this pattern with this fire. I've got this fierceness. And that is where the whole essence of this podcast came from this fierce woman rising, it's this fierceness that just wills up starts in the pit of our stomach and it just wills up and it just comes out. And for me, you know, I feel like I feel it coming up my throat and I feel it, it just comes out of my mouth. But it's that is that energy rush that comes out of my comes out of my belly deep in my belly. And that's where I know, that's where I know I'm on the right track because that's for me, that's me. That's that's what my like my my intuition my little it's, I know, I'm on the right track when I'm following that feeling. So I'm learning to I'm learning to recognize in my body, the feelings that helped me make practical, tangible decisions. And that's what doing exercises like this on a regular basis really giving ourselves the time to stop and notice. Think how many how many times have you faced a decision and you haven't known what to do. And one part of you is saying you should do one thing and other part of you were saying you should do another and then you start to bounce the idea with different people and you get their points of view and their perspectives and you've got this person telling you you should do that and this person telling you you should do this and and before you You know what your head just feels like complete and utter overwhelm, and you don't end up doing anything. And that is because you're trying to make the decision based purely on your head based purely on logic. And so many of us aren't supposed to make decisions that way. We're not designed to

Claire Markwick: 00:35:20

make decisions that way. And this is a whole other conversation and, and I am very, very keen to get people onto this podcast to help talk a little bit more about all that as well, because I think it's really fascinating. And it's really something that's, that's helping me and so if it's helping me, it's going to help you guys too. But I'm learning that when I feel that fierce. Fierce is the word that I've attached to this physical feeling like deep in my stomach. And it's sort of was just below it's, it's like, I So got a dirty t shirt fitting, if you're watching the video of this, when I when I stood up to show the camera, like where I'm pointing, I've just noticed I've got my dinner down my T shirt, there you go. Real. It's like right at the sort of the base of my like, where your bras it's kind of thing like across that, right there. That's where I feel it. And I know when I am making a decision, if I get that, that fierce, that burning feeling there, I know it's the right one. And I'm going to be freaking honest sometimes, to make that decision, my head will my head will start to rationalize and justify and create excuses and stories. And sometimes, sometimes I'm not brave enough in that moment to make that decision. But then, when I come back to it, or when I actually do, and I'm followed, I followed that feeling. It's always always the right decision. So what I'm going to what I want to encourage you to do in this exercise, the whole point of it, to feel what 10 out of 10 in each of those segments feels like and to notice to recognize what sitting in that 10 out of 10 moment feels like in your body? Where do you feel it? What is that sensation, like start to recognize what that is like and use that as your guiding compass. The final piece of the puzzle that I'm going to talk about, I actually had notes to go way further, but you know, I'm starting to feel like I'm starting to feel like we've done enough. But what where I want to where I want to

Claire Markwick: 00:37:35

finish this is I want you each to do whatever you need to do for you to remind yourself of that 10 out of 10 feeling now that might just be depending on how you've done it that might just be sticking, you're sticking your circle up on the wall, it might be finding pictures online or in magazines that represent that failing of 10 out of 10. It might be finding pictures that not that represent but that are you know you might have, you might have a very clear picture of where your ideal environment or what your 10 out of 10 environment is or what your 10 out of 10 house looks like. What's your 10 out of 10 Kitchen, what's your 10 out of 10 bedroom, what's your 10 out of 10 bathroom, what's your 10 out of 10 garden, you might you will find a visual representation of that, create a create a board, create a collage, create whatever you need to create, to capture this moment to capture those feelings to capture that emotion. Because let's face it, when you snap out of this place that you're in right now doing this exercise, you're going to go back to having to hang out washing having to do the groceries, having to cook dinner, having to bark at the kids for leaving shit everywhere having to you know probably moaning at the hubby or the wife or the partner for doing X, Y and Zed you're going to snap straight back into reality and this thing this feeling this moment that you have given yourself permission for is going to become history very, very fast. And that is why I said this is not a set and forget you don't do this once and think that it's going to change your life because it's not. It is not. It is only things are only going to change when you continually hold on to that higher frequency when you can take yourself back to that feeling when you can when you can capture the essence of 10 out of 10 and you can use it to fuel you to get through the shit. You had to get through the day in the job that you don't like to get through the day of when the kids are

Claire Markwick: 00:39:57

sick and the house is a mess and every thing is just going against you to get through the time of your life where you're literally like praying to God that nothing breaks or no, and no surprising bills come through or whatever, because you are literally down to your last few dollars before your next payday. This needs to be your essence, this is your, this is your fuel, this is your magic picture, this is your tool of how you are going to get through. And how you are going to make sure that the things that you say you're gonna do actually happen because you have got that feeling you have got that thing that you can cling to, you have got that thing that is going to help you move you forward. There's such a powerful, powerful exercise even just to talk about like I am just, I am both lit up, fired up and exhausted at the same time just sharing the concept of doing that exercise, let alone alone actually actually doing it. So I trust that you have got incredible value from this. Anyone sitting there going well, now what do I do? What do I do with this? Clay? You've only told us half the story like, where do I go from here?

Claire Markwick: 00:41:35

Fierce woman rising, this podcast is about you taking radical responsibility for your life, it is giving you the tools it is giving you the strategies it is giving you the inspiration is giving me the examples of how you can step up to create the life you love. So you don't need me to tell you what's next, you can look at your first circle, and you can look at those feelings and you can take yourself back to those feelings of if nothing changes in 12 months time, how's that gonna make me feel go back there, and see which of those feelings is the most painful. And make that your priority and of change, go to your second circle, and sit in each of those feelings in each of those 10 out of 10 segments and, and feel into which one you want to achieve fast. There's no right or wrong. For me it was finances. For me, it was money. For me I and, and I don't that's not to sound shallow. That's not saying that I put earning money above my relationship with my husband or my kids or anything like that. But for me, when I did that exercise, the last time I did this exercise I knew in my heart and not in my head because I wasn't letting the bullshit stories of you can't focus on money, you can't put money ahead of your kids, I wasn't going to let that stop me. I felt in my heart that if I could increase my score in that segment, that I knew it was going to ripple into every other segment. And so for me, that was my that was my focus. That is my focus. And that was my next step. So that is my, that is my guidance to you. You do not need me to tell me what your next step is, you already know you've got it there in front of you. You just need to give yourself permission to actually step up into the person that can make the decision for themselves without needing someone else to tell them. You know, you know, what is the most important thing you need to focus on. And it's probably not the surface level bullshit New Year's resolution that you set. Because let's face it,

Claire Markwick: 00:43:49

that's just the thing that ticks the box, I've made a New Year's resolution I've got a goal for the year a bit it actually keeps me really safe from actually facing what the real goal should be. So when when. Take this as your opportunity to step up to use this as the basis of making your own priority list making your own schedule for what is important and use it as your inspiration as your guide as your motivation for bumping up the score in just one of those segments and reassess continually come back to it in a few months time do the same thing all over again. i It's still right to be focusing where you're focusing on now you've elevated that score a little bit is there something else you need to be working on over here? You get to the side. That is what is so cool about it and that is what is just not spoken about? Like you know you we sit back and we wait for people to tell us what to do and then we wonder why we feel so unfulfilled and unsatisfied and so shallow it's because we're we're just being sheep We're just doing what we're told we're forgetting how to do what we want to feel what we need and act on it. And it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks it doesn't matter what anyone else says we should be doing. It doesn't matter if people tell us we're wrong. If we feel it in our hearts, and we're moving forward on that, and we feel better about it, that is all that matters. That is what is important. And that my friends, is exactly where I am going to leave it. Because we have crammed so much in this is such a valuable exercise a one stop talking so you can actually go ahead and do this stuff. And I would love to hear I haven't love absolutely love blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, to hear what comes up for you. What have you taken from this episode? What has this exercise allowed you to, to realize? Where have you been putting your focus in the wrong place? What has been in front of your face the whole time, yet you haven't

Claire Markwick: 00:46:07

been able to see it. It honestly fills me with so much joy when I hear your feedback because that sounds so like school esque. But when I hear your learnings and your reflections from each of these episodes, and each week, the amount of messages I'm getting is just going up and I absolutely love that so you can connect with me on socials I am on Instagram at Claire underscore Markwick I am on Facebook at Claire Markwick And you can also DM me directly from the show notes of this episode wherever you're listening to that from there is a contact me link in the show notes to this episode. So I cannot wait to hear from you. Like it love it. Give me some love. Give me some reviews on Apple or Spotify or wherever you're listening to it from share it with someone in your network that you think needs to hear it. And if you're ready to join me on my fierce quest to creating wealth and creating freedom and creating health and all aspects of life, then let me know and I can have a chat with you about what how I'm doing that and whether it can be a fit for you too. All righty, thank you so much for lending me your ears. I will be back with you next week and until then, bye bye