What you think you need to make a decision, is not what you need

Claire Markwick: 00:00:09

Every story starts with a dream. A dream of someone wanting more. A dream of a life that might feel so unrealistic right now yet you know deep down in your soul you're destined for. My name is Claire Markwick. Accountant, business coach, affiliate marketer, mom, wife and woman with a dream. A fierce dream rising up within me. A dream that fires my soul and a dream I am committed to making a reality. Based woman rising is a podcast that celebrates those with a dream. Those courageous enough to think outside their current reality and make what's in your heart come true. If I've learned one thing over the years, is that the only surefire way of staying stuck in a stale mediocre life is believing that's all you're capable of. Believing your own bullshit excuses and not finding the strength to stretch beyond them. I held myself back, I played safe I stayed where I was for far too long. But not anymore. I want a life of passion. Have fun adventure, laughter love. I want deep conversations belly laughs health, strength, balance. I want confidence, sexiness, fulfillment and the money to do as we please without limitation. I want the life of my dreams. So I'm here creating it. And I want that for you too. So welcome my friend, to fierce woman rising, the show that awakens your mind and kickstarts your action to creating the life you love. Hello, hello, hello and welcome to another episode of fierce woman rising had a bit of a break last week. Because I'm going to be very real I had shit going on. You know, I think when I have my previous podcasts I put so much pressure on myself from you know, listening to the Guru's and saying you have to, you have to release episodes at the same time on the same day, every week, if you want to build your audience and this and whilst that might be true in that you're I don't have a huge massive audience right now, you know, the people who are listening to my show are typically people who follow me on socials and so know

Claire Markwick: 00:02:18

about my show anyway. And we'll be prepared to wait a day or two for a new episode to drop. So I think this is a real example of how we as a person can grow and can change. As we you know, as we go through life, you know, we things that are important to us or think are important to us at one point in life, you know, we realized that actually they're not so you know, hey, it's Sunday, you might get this episode today, you might get it tomorrow. It depends how, how quickly I decided to edit it. And so that means you're not getting it on Friday, but big whoop, who cares? I'm going to record two in a row. So you'll get one next Friday. Anyway, today, what I wanted to talk about, it's a solo episode this week, it's yours truly just me. And I wanted to talk about something that's come up in three different conversations that I have had with people this week. And it is around our capacity to make decisions. And it is around what we think we need in order to make that decision. And if I can shed any light on this. I'm going to and I'm going to link it back to where I was this time last year because this time last year I was in a what I can only describe as a big funk. I was in this massive, massive funk. I got myself in such a hole. And I couldn't see my way out of it. And I wanted the I wanted the confidence I wanted the certainty I wanted. I wanted something that was going to help me make a decision that was going to move me out of this funk. And I sat waiting for that confidence for that clarity for that moment. For looking back, you know, I could say too long. There's the other part of my brain that says I sat there for the perfect amount of time because it allowed me to come to the realization that I'm going to share with you today in this episode. In as much as we will never find that confidence we will never find that clarity. We will never sit in a space long enough to find everything that we need. That we think we need to make the decision that we're

Claire Markwick: 00:04:49

trying to make. We will never have the time we will never have the money. We will never have the confidence we will never have the clarity we will never have the support. We will never have That illusive thing that we think we need to wait for, until before we make a decision that will not come before we make the decision. That comes after we've made the decision. After we have backed ourselves enough to go, you know what, I'm sick of waiting, I am sick of waiting for you to support me, I am sick of waiting for me to feel confident, I am sick of waiting until I feel I have the time I am sick of waiting till the kids are older, I am sick of this, I'm sick of it, like we have to reach that point, we have to reach that line in the sand, we have to reach that point. Because it's at that point that we get this like fierce fire, like burning up within us. And it energizes us, it absolutely propels us in the direction that we need to go. And when we make a decision from that place, suddenly, all those things that we thought we needed to wait for start to happen. So this is a message to you. If you are maybe you are one of the three people I've spoken to in the last week about what it takes to join my team and come into my affiliate marketing organization, maybe maybe you are one of those three people. Or maybe you're someone who is who is sat on the fence of making a different decision, maybe it's not to come in and join and join my affiliate marketing team, maybe it's a decision to leave a relationship, leave a job, apply for a job, start another type of business move house move country, like whatever that decision is just backing make it like make the decision because here's, here's what I know, deep down in your soul, you've already made the decision. So what you're searching for is not the confidence to make the decision or is not the is not the it's not that it's not the confidence to make the decision, that's not what you're looking for, you've

Claire Markwick: 00:07:16

already made that decision, your unconscious self has already made that decision, what you're looking for is the logic to back that up. What you're looking for is the the the logic to give yourself permission to actually make that decision. And then feel everything that's going to come from that and know that you're able to deal with everything that's going to come from that. That is actually what you're scared of, you're not scared of making the decision, you're scared of what making that decision is going to make you have to face. And so it's safer to not make that decision by saying I don't have the time I don't have the money, I don't have the skills, I don't have the confidence, it's far safer to use that safe excuse, then to actually say, You know what, I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to do it, I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to cope, I'm scared that it's I'm going to fail that it's not going to work for me. That is a much, much deeper fear. And that is a much, much bigger problem. And that is what you're actually scared of. That it's not the fact that you need to wait for time for money for support for whatever to make a decision. It's that you need to trust in yourself enough to know that you're worthy of handling what's on the other side of the decision. And that's fucking scary. That is so fucking scary and it is easier. No matter how much we say we want to be on the other side. No matter how much we can, we might be able to you might be able to completely describe the life that you're after. You might want this and you might want that and you don't want this anymore. You don't want this stress. You don't on these arguments. You don't want to be living paycheck to paycheck, you don't want to, you know, be worrying where the next bit of money is going to come from. You want your kids to respect you more, you want to have a more loving relationship with your partner, you want to live in this amazing house on the beach. You might know

Claire Markwick: 00:09:17

all of that. And you might be able to describe all of that. But deep down if you don't feel worthy of living that life if you don't feel like you're the person who is able to have that kind of relationship with your partner with your children with yourself. Then you're going to put a whole heap of bullshit in the way as to why you can't do it. It's going to you're going to sabotage yourself getting it because you don't believe that you're worthy of having it

Claire Markwick: 00:09:52

and that's where this whole I just I just just need to wait till I've got a bit more time I've just got to wait till life's not quite so hectic and I've got this going on right now and I've got that going on right now my money needs to go here and look like get it like there is like, you know, I am not someone who is making 10s or hundreds of 1000s of dollars a month from the business that I'm I'm running right now you know, I have a job, I balance a job with running my business with my husband runs a business, we've got the kids, one white guy, he's homeschooling tiles just finished your five, you know, and we've got all the sports and the extracurricular and all the stuff that they want to do. We live out the towns that we're constantly playing taxi to one or other of them for one thing or another. And life is busy. There's a lot that it's there's a lot that's going on. But I've chosen not to let that be the thing that stops us keep stepping forward into creating the life that we want. And it took me reaching that line in the sand last year, this time last year, like Last Christmas I was I just if I could cancel Christmas I would have or that we're not going to we're not going to have Christmas with family, we're going to keep it low key, we're going to stay home, it's going to just be the four of us, because I couldn't face anybody. I had got myself so low, I couldn't face the conversations of us when you're going to buy a house and what's going on and how's the business going. And, and I didn't want to have those conversations because I had I had got myself to this such this low point that I just I just didn't want to deal with it. And I knew I needed to make a decision to get out of it. But at that time, I didn't know what that decision was. And I was waiting for this like magical sign to come and to help me understand what I need to do. And anyway, that's that's a whole other story that you can listen to in the origin episode. But what I'm

Claire Markwick: 00:11:55

what I'm getting at is until we reach that point of such incredible pain that we realize we cannot go on any further, we're going to keep putting these bullshit excuses in the way. So we can pre empt we can fast track our getting over our bullshit. By just making that goddamn decision that you're that you're trying to look for evidence to make, just make it like you know what you want to do now, and I'm going to tell you what's on the outside. Because I know that we're all looking for a bit of a bit of confidence and a bit and a bit of clarity. What is on the other side of making that decision is whatever it is, is feeling like you are going to vomit. Literally, that is what it is. It is like utter elation. At the moment that you tell that person or you sign that document or you make that call or whatever it is, it's like, yes, and you feel this, like an electric charge rise up through you. And it is so empowering. It is so energizing, it is so incredibly amazing. And then almost instantly afterwards, it's like Oh, shit. Now I've got to tell so and so now I've got to do this. Now that means that and that will make you want to vomit. It really will. I am not going to bullshit. I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to sugarcoat it, it is scary. But what you need to find, to get out of the out of the LOL that you're sitting in right now is you need you don't need to find any more information out about the decision, you need to learn to back yourself and understand that you're going to be able to cope with what's on the other side. And I absolutely guarantee that with the right circle of people around you, you're going to be able to do that. Like think back, think back to the first time you've ever done something before. If you're a mom, or dad, you know, think back to when you first had kids like you can't pick the perfect time to have a child. You can't ever have enough money. You can't ever know enough information. You can't have enough confidence.

Claire Markwick: 00:14:05

You don't have enough foresight to see everything that's going to happen like you, you can't map it all out from the beginning. You just have to have faith that you and your partner are going to be able to be okay. Like nobody goes into having a baby. Being 110% absolutely ready and confident with enough money with enough time with enough resources with enough education with enough experience. Nobody does. Nobody does. And if everybody sat waiting for that time, we'd have a freaking problem on our hands because no one will be having babies. So why should investing in a business starting a business and be any different? Sure we have to do our due diligence. Sure we have to we have to understand a bit about what we're getting out. sells into. And we do that the same with kids. You know, we have friends who have kids, we have family members who have kids, we talk to them, we learn from them, we we look at their experiences, we join a antenatal class, we research things online, we listen to podcasts, we buy books, you know, we can we can educate ourselves to an extent. But there comes a point where we have to go, alright, let's just do this. And starting a business, I'm going to switch to the, the the decision being that right now, starting a business is no different. You are never going to be 100% Ready, you just have to satisfy yourself that you are ready enough. And that you have enough confidence in yourself to handle what comes on the other side of that decision of that. Oh my God, I want to vomit. And can I just say, if it's when you get that feeling of like elation, of electric of energy firing through you, and then you want to go vomit. That is when you know that you have been bold enough to make a fucking amazing decision that is going to move you forward because it's big enough. You really, really care. And it scares you. And big decisions that are going to move you forward scare the crap out of you. They scare the crap out of me. Like I

Claire Markwick: 00:16:24

literally remember sitting on my bed. After I sent the message to Sally, my, my sponsor saying yep, I mean, Sign me up. Tell me what I've got to do. I am in on this business. I am. I am starting it. I am doing it. Let's roll. Let's do it. Let's make 2023 and amazing year I send that message. I felt amazing. And then I sat on the end of my bed and I was like, Oh, shit. Oh, shit. What have I done? What if I can't do this? What is Terry gonna say he was not he was not someone who was sold on the vision of the business initially, like I was anyway. And now, you know, I've got to tell him I've actually done it. What? How is this gonna play out? How is this year gonna play out? Oh, my God, oh, my god, oh my god. And

Claire Markwick: 00:17:12

it, that can be the point that people go, you know what not change my mind. But that's nothing to do with the business. That's nothing to do with the decision that is your belief in yourself. So what I want to what I want to really encourage you, and this is what I want to this is what I said to those three people. And what I say to everybody who talks to me about joining me, in my business, in my organization and with my team, is that you never ever, ever do things alone, you would never do this alone. You've got me who right now is 12 months ahead and can share all of that, like I know what's coming, I can I can literally predict the next challenge you're gonna have. And I can say this is how I got over it. And I have my sponsor ahead of me who's 18 months ahead of me. And then she has her sponsor ahead of her who's couple of years ahead of her. And then they have the first people in Australia, that that the board and addict to Australia, you know what I mean? Like there's this massive chain. This is massive, massive community of people who have gone before us and can support us and can say, Yeah, I understand. Yeah, I remember that. Here's what you do. Like we're not doing things ourselves. And so maybe your decision isn't about whether to come and join Claire's Enagic team, maybe your decision is something else. So my advice to you is find the people who have gone before, find the people who have done what you want to do, and learn from them. Talk to them, ask them seek their support, get their help and get yourself in a position where you go, you know what, I've got enough nows about me to handle whatever comes up on the other side of this decision. And then just packing deal heads just do it. Have this be your thing, get it done, do it before Christmas, and don't have that weight hanging over your head. Then you enjoy Christmas with the freedom of oh my god, like I have started the ball rolling. I have started this. This is going to mean x y and Zed in

Claire Markwick: 00:19:19

2024. This is so exciting. This is so exhilarating. This is so scary, but I know I'm on the right path and imagine what Christmas is going to be like in that energy as opposed to that kind of like I'm just gonna drink Drink my days away eat a whole heap of food because I'm scared of the decision that I've got to make afterwards. Like how much more enjoyable is Christmas and New Year's gonna be when you have got that electric feeling of excitement bubbling up within you because you've done something that is so out there that so many people aren't prepared to do. You know, this is why there aren't a gazillion millionaires like walking around. This is why most people are living mediocre. And I am going to say this and this is going to piss people off. It's going to trigger people I know it is. But most people are living mediocre lives. And the reason that they're doing that is because they don't believe that there is another option for them. They don't believe that they're the type of person that can live like this. They don't believe that they're the type of person that can have that. And that, you know, it's got to be an or why does it have to be an all? Why can't you have both? Your Why can't I was like, why can't I have a career that I feel really proud of? and a business? Why can't I have the thing that pays the bills, and the thing that like, lights me up and keeps me energetic, and keeps me inspired and keeps me excited and keeps me wanting to move forward? Why do I have to have one or the other? Why can I have both? And that is what I've really kind of grown into over this last 12 months is that it's not about having one thing or the other? It's, we can have both like why do we have to succumb to the way it has always been? Why do we have to do things the way we always have? Why can't we do things differently. And it's not that we need someone else's support. It's not that we need more skills, more confidence, more whatever, all we need is to trust

Claire Markwick: 00:21:31

ourselves. And I think I think as a society, we have, we have learnt or we have not had to rely on ourselves, we have not had to really trust ourselves. Because we've always had a safety net, we've all there's always been something within us that underneath us that can catch us. And then generationally, what that means is we haven't had to learn the skill of really backing ourselves to make a frickin scary decision. Because we'd really have to do it anymore. And I think that's wrong, I want to bring our boys up knowing that they don't have to settle, they don't have to succumb to the average life of going to school, getting their HSC getting a job, go into uni, and getting a mortgage, and then working their asses off until they're 6570 years old to pay off the house, the car and whatever hell else blown. They've got like, I don't want that life for them. And I can't find enough words, to express that to them. If I'm not doing it myself, so as their parents, we have to be the example we have to be the ones going you know what, we'll just because someone says this, and this is how it has to be. This is actually what we're going to do, because this is what we want to do. And that comes from having the confidence to back ourselves. And if there's something that the one thing that I can say I really lacked 12 months ago, was the absolute 110% conviction that I had what it took to back up any decision that I made and what I believe my affiliate marketing business has given me is that taught that taught that thing to hang on to to be my confidence to know that anything I do as long as I have this and as long as I'm building this, it is going to be okay it is I don't know when it's going to be okay, like I don't know how much time it's going to take me to get to a level where I have the money, the time the confidence, whatever it is, but I know it's I know I'm building something that is coming Does that make sense? It's like I put it in a post the other day

Claire Markwick: 00:24:12

when I was a when I was a kid I had this red velvet ribbon I used to suck my thumb I have my ribbon like cut recruiting my fingers and I was totally just doing that. That's why my voice went funny. Oh my My mouth was pretending I had a velvet ribbon between my fingers. And it would be my safety net it would be my I'm okay. I'm perfectly okay. Right now in this moment if I have this and what I what I feel I gained last year when I made the decision to join this business is that became it became my ribbon. Now there may be people listening to this that go Oh, you shouldn't need something to give you confidence. You know, you're saying we should find the confidence within us. Bah bah, bah, bah, bah, that we need tools. We are a society where we use tools, we have tools to help us do things more effectively. So what is wrong in having a tool or having something to hold on to, that allows us to back ourselves more confidently, you know, we use calculators to allow us to do math more confidently, we have Thermomix using microwaves and pressure cookers and slow cookers and ovens to help us cook more effectively. We have air conditioners to help cool keep ourselves cool more effectively. We are a society that uses tools to help us do things more effectively. So if we can have a tool that helps us have confidence in ourselves that helps us back ourselves that helps us take one step forward into creating the life that we love. Why the hell wouldn't we use it? Why the hell wouldn't we use it? So I think that's where I'm going to leave it. I feel like my, my rant is done.

Claire Markwick: 00:25:56

And I've said what I needed to say. If you are someone who is going into Christmas with a big decision to make, I urge you, I strongly encourage you to make that decision. Now. Make it now make it before Christmas doesn't mean that the whole world has to change in an instant. Just make that decision now. And then enjoy that feeling of elation and excitement and wonder and adventure and then start the process happening in the new year. I guarantee you will thank yourself for it already guys, I trust you have loved this conversation. Please share it to anyone in your network that you think needs to hear it follow me on socials a Claire Markwick on Instagram and Claire Markwick on Facebook. And yeah, keep sharing the love. Let me know what you've loved about this episode and I look forward to hearing all about your decisions that you've made and what you have planned for 2024 share with me what have you got planned for 2024 I have got so, so much I will be I will be sharing, sharing more in my later episodes that Kiki is good for that one. Thank you so much for lending me your ears and I will be back with you next week.